Its been awhile

I know I know! Ive been really busy though. Rich got fired from his job, they told him its because he needs to get his priorities in check. They seem to think the fire dept is more important, which it is, but just because he studied during his breaks and at lunch? I dont know, that was Thursday and today is Monday and he is at a job interview as we speak! Keep your finders crossed!

Everything else is ok I guess. Lucy has a torn cruciate ligament in her knee, I brought her to the vet last week. They gave her some pain pills and she seems to be doing alot better. There going to have to take ex-rays ($568) and then surgery ($1700) hopefully the later will not be needed. Thank God for pet insurance. Ive also stoped feeding her human food at home. Shes not too happy about it and hasent really eaten much in the past few days. I have to stick to it though, she needs to loose some weight. Ive started her on a dog food special for Bulldogs and she doesnt seem to hate it, when I can get her to actually eat some of it.

Nothing else to report. Except that someone hit the grill of my truck this weekend. I didnt even realize until my dad asked me this morning what happend. ($184) will buy that! Im doing great!

Its Wednesday

Its still strange to me the way Wednesday is spelled. It's nothing like the way it sounds. Every time I spell it out I have to say it in my head the way it sounds. Stupid English language.

Im so bored sitting at my desk today, not that bored is a bad thing. Its better than having a day where the world crashes down on me. I need to get out of here though before I freak out.

Rich and I are doing well I think. He's been very busy though. Its kinda like we dont really see each other anymore. He had the fire academy lastnight and tonight I think hes going to the station. Which leaves tommorow night, back to the academy. Maybe Friday we could spend some time together.

Toms been really pressuring me to see him lately. I think my feelings for him might be changing. I wish I could keep him as my bestfriend, and ocational phone sex buddy but I dont think thats going to happen. I just feel myself getting bored with his depression of not seeing me. I know that sounds shallow, I dont mean to be that way. Its just all he ever wants to talk about. And its never going to happen. So Im not really sure how to deal with this.

I had a wonderful night last night, I cleaned the bedroom, put some draws together and put them on the dresser so it looks much cleaner without clothes everywhere. Rich really didnt have anything to say about it when he got home though.

Im hoping he will stick out the Fire Academy and then take the rest of him EMT classes. Next year the Dept wants to put on 5 more full time guys. That is his dream! Im just hoping he can do it. Things would be great then. He would be making more money, which means we could maybe buy a bigger house with room for kids. And when your on the department your on 4 days and then off 4. So that would be alittle cheaper for baby sitters also. I really like the idea of him being a Firemen. My real dad was one for many years, and I believe it is a job to be proud of. It will help him to make some friends in town since he really doesnt know anyone. And maybe I could make some friends also. I dream of those tv shows or movies where the firemen and there wives and kids are all just one big happy family. That would be my ideal life. Being a fire fighters wife and hanging out with other fire fighters wives, with all of our kids running around playing in the back yard.

Office Desk

Im sitting im my office at my desk wondering what is going on with me. I cant stop crying, Rich and I havent really spent too much time together this past week. He ended up in the ER on Sunday with a 104 temp. come to find out he has pneumonia! fun fun..

So ontop of hime having classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights he's been sick and just plan old tired. Last night was Wednesday and I thought we would be able to spend time together but he had to go to the fire station to change his gear. Needless to say he left at 6 and didnt get home till 9:30... WHATEVER.

So hes home right now with the dogs, he's got class tonight so I'll be alone again. O-Well.

Thank the Lord for good Doctors

Ive been sick since a week before Christmas, and have already gone to the doctor once. When I went the first time he didnt give me anything except cough medicine, which didnt help with everything else that this cold from Hell was doing to me. I went back today and saw a different doc. and low and behold... MEDICINE! Hopefully I will start feeling better now.

Tom has been on me lately, wants to meet me. Hes not feeling like I need him anymore, I dont text as much or call and when we are talking (which is all day long during the work week) I dont seem too interested. Im starting to think maybe hes right. Things are going so good with Rich and I maybe I am starting to lose some of the neediness that I felt for him in the past. This is really a problem for me, I love Tom, I love him with everything that I have. Im not what he thinks I am though.