Love?

So im wondering how long im gonna keep this up with Tom, and Rich both. I realized this morning while talking on the phone with Tom after Rich left for work, that he is the man i was put on this earth to be with. I cant explain it, im a very needy, moody person, Tom exepts all of me and knows how to deal with everything i need. I know it sounds one sided but its not. I also seem to get him.
Tom is a 40 year old man with a wife and two kids, his life at home has turned him into basically the yard boy and the taxi driver. He loves his kids more than anything, and that is one of the things that i admire most about him. Hes not planning on leaving his wife untill his youngest is out of high school, thats another 8 years. He hasent asked me wait, he says he wont do that. He wants me too, he wishes that i would, and we dream about what it would be like then. He is my ONE true love.
I never thought that i could feel so loved, so understood by another person, i would trust him with everything, i know he would protect me and love me, hold my hand , open doors and all that stuff too. He just gets me, And i continue to lie to him. ( im such an asshole)

On the other hand, Rich and i had a pretty good night last night, just sat around watched tv, had a couple of drinks, (i smoked alittle) couldnt fix the water problem completely, so i called the well guy this morning, he should be there by 6. Rich went in to bed @8:30, i stayed up till round 11:00, took the dogs out and went to bed. When he woke me up this morning, he already had his lunch and hot chocolate made and i didnt have to do anything, how nice of him to let me sleep alittle late...

im lost at what to do